october third.

Today started really shitty and lasted until about three hours ago. My fever made a surprise return this afternoon (I woke up at 2, I guess I made it wait kind of long) and it was the kind that brings along body aches and fever dreams. I was not a happy camper. One of my roommates and her boyfriend are actually camping (haha) this weekend, and my other one was at choir practice all day, then went out to eat so no one was home. I realize that if they would have been they wouldn't have have actually done anything, because I would have had my door closed and been dying in bed all the same, but hearing complete silence and knowing I was sick and alone and an ocean away from my family made me really, really sad. 

I skyped with my mom and sisters shortly after but it didn't help at all, in fact I think it just made it worse. Marisa put stickers on a rock for me, and as terrible an art project as that sounds I've never wanted to be there to receive it more. Bah. I wanted to listen to "Red" by Okkervil River which is a song that ALWAYS makes me cry and I felt that's what I needed, but youtube was completely down for maintenance so I somehow ended up listening to Christmas music on iTunes radio.  I love holiday music and the holiday season in general, this year I won't be going home, though, so I don't think I'll love it very much. Blah. 

On top of being sick/homesick, I'm insanely premenstrual so basically any remotely sad thing is amplified in my mind by 5000. I cry at the right Taylor Swift song, (which is most of them) and drool over potatoes in any form. Sigh. Being a female is annoying sometimes. 

Yolie called me at 10 as I was getting my winter clothes out from storage, seeing as it rained steadily all day, just to, you know, match my mood. We decided to meet up at Our Bar that we spent the past two weeks studying at to catch up. I kind of laugh as I type this, because I make it sound like we haven't seen each other all summer when really it was more like 15 hours. Anyway, I picked up a black dress and paired it with a black cardigan (I'm sad, okay?!) and teal tights and... ready? RAIN BOOTS. I have been waiting to wear my rain boots since my mom bought them for me from Target three months ago. We drank beer and ate comfort food (PMSing, remember?) and talked away three hours in no time. I can't decide if my warm, fuzzy state is fever or alcohol induced but I think it's probably from combining pills and alcohol. Oops. Tomorrow I hope to finish my clothes sorting deal and be DONE with cleaning/rearranging/settling in, although to be fair to myself I haven't even been back a month. In the evening yolie and I are going clubbing for the first time in SO long. I'm legitimately worried I'll have forgotten how to dance and that everything will feel weird and I'll be out of my element. We'll see. BEDO should be fun coming home in the wee hours of the morning and blogging. But I care about you, blog, I do. See the things I say I'm going to do for you? *reproachful sigh* 

Oh! One last thing! Thank you to The Vagabond for commenting my last post and encouraging with BEDO. I appreciate it and I looked through all your posts to try and find your real name as to avoid referring to you as The Vagabond, but to no avail! I thank you anyway! <3

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.