august thirty-first.

I am obsessed with Virginia Woolf. I'm reading The Voyage Out, but before the actual story there's an introduction about the author and book as a whole. Her life and ideas concerning it are so interesting to me, I have no idea why it's affecting me this much. She committed suicide by putting her overcoat on, filling it with rocks, and walking into a river where she drowned herself. This, coupled with the note she left her husband, 

"I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times. And I shan't recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came. I can't fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can't even write this properly. I can't read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can't go on spoiling your life any longer. I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been. V." 

sends shivers down my spine. There's something so perfectly broken about the note, so raw but beautiful at the same time. I haven't even read past page ten yet, I need to get a hold of myself. 

xox,

lovefrommichigan.

august twenty-eighth.

summer love.

august twenty-seventh.

SO TIRED. my feet are throbbing, my legs hate me, but my heart is happy. I am enamored with New York City, and I want more. I've decided that after med school I'm applying to every single freaking hospital in New York for my residency, I want to live there. But for real, not just like some crazy idea. I'm going to do it. I'm excited for the future. I took so many pictures, tomorrow after I sleep in past noon, I'm going to upload pictures from the entire summer that I haven't done yet and write a proper blog, and I'm hoping the snapshots I took will jog my memory and help me write. 

xox,

lovefromNEWYORK!

[photo caption: I ♥ NY/michigan]

august twenty-sixth.

My hair right now reminds me of Hagrid, and although I don't really have a problem with it, I'm not sure the feeling is mutual. I spent a good part of today in and out of the water, lounging around reading and playing with my sisters. As a result, it air-dried haphazardly before I wet it again, only to repeat the process many times. Before we went out to dinner I was lazy and decided finishing The Last Summer (Of You and Me) was more important than showering, so I towel dried it and rubbed some mousse in half-heartedly, hoping it'd be enough. My book was fantastic; my hair, eh. Whatever, it was a small price to pay for such a beautiful day. Marisa picked a gorgeous flower for me that I secured in my hair with a bobby pin, and while it was pretty random walking with it around the mall and at dinner, I loved it. 

In a few hours we're boarding a train to go to New York for the day, and to say I'm excited is an understatement. The highlight(s) of my day is a tie between a long necklace I bought and a 300 page Harry Potter coloring book. I got 160 crayons for my birthday, and I've decided I'm going to color this upcoming year. Progress age wise? Doubtful, but I'm pumped. I really do have a lot more to say but I'm going to try to get to bed earlier tonight, seeing as my alarm is for 5.30. Expect a blog post filled with lovelyness tomorrow, even though I'll probably be exhausted. (sort of commiting myself to blog makes me more motivated to do so, as I actually love it. The hardest part is just starting, then once I do my fingers just know what to do (that's what she said) and it's oddly relaxing and comforting knowing I've cemented the thoughts I want to share for the day.)

xox,

lovefromnewjersey.

[photo captions: starfish necklace and HP coloring book!]

august twenty-fifth.

My first day scuttling about Atlantic City was interesting. I loved the boardwalk and shops on one side and the ocean on the other. There's something positively magical about breathing in misty saltwater. I did think it was too touristy, and I hate being an obvious tourist in new places, but I think that's something I need to get over. I've always known I want to live by the water when I'm older, and this reenforced that belief. We ate at Rainforest Cafe and I forget how much I love that place until I'm there. All in all, it was a humorous day. I chuckled to myself a lot of the time, and decided I hands down have the coolest sisters ever. My bed here is ridiiiiiiiiiiiiculousy puffy and cloud-like, I have EIGHT pillows scattered about waiting to be used to my heart's content, so that's kind of luring me in slowly, making me end this abruptly. I'm going to go continue reading Ann Brashares's new book, The Last Summer (of You and Me) and wait for the dreamy feathers to lull my head onto them. Oh, I finished Chelsea Handler's My Horizontal Life and loved it. She writes really, really well and on multiple occasions I found myself laughing out loud. It's not as raunchy as I was expecting, considering it's a collection of her one-night stand stories, but I'm glad in a way. It proved to me she has actual talent instead of just writing about obscene stories in detail. I'm definitely going to read Are You There Vodka, It's Me, Chelsea? As for the new Ann Brashares book, I'm not sure how I feel. I'm not certain if I've ever stated it on my blog, but the Traveling Pants series are my favorites, ever. The last one, Forever In Blue, is easily my favorite book of all time, and the series changed my life. I reread them all so often, and I'm in love with the author. This is her first "adults" book, and although I try and keep my expectations low, I was super excited to start this one. I'm only 80 pages in, maybe I need to give it time. 

xox,

lovefromnewjersey.

august twenty-fourth.

random post! I'm in New Jersey, reading and listening to music. My iPod is on shuffle, here are the first twenty songs that come up : )

1. So Nice So Smart- Kimya Dawson

2. Cold Water- Damien Rice

3. Happiness: We're All in it Together- This Will Destroy You

4. Doin' it Bossy- Girl Talk

5. John Wayne Gacy, Jr.- Sufjan Stevens

6. The Trapeze Swinger- Iron & Wine

7. Natalie's Rap- The Lonely Island

8. Ben is Chasing Beautiful Girls- Norwegian Recycling

9. Audacity of Huge- Simian Mobile Disco

10. Carter II- Lil Wayne

11. Title and Registration- Death Cab For Cutie

12. High School Party- Bo Burnham

13. While We Wait- Jack Johnson

14. Call it Off- Tegan and Sara

15. The Dynamo of Volition- Jason Mraz

16. Laughing With- Regina Spektor

17. Into the Sunshine- Julia Nunes

18. Le Disko- Shiny Toy Guns

19. This Year's Love- David Gray

20. See You Again- Miley Cyrus

not too embarrassing, save the last song. *shamefully ends blog post*

xox,

lovefromnewjersey.

august twenty-third.

I guess starting a new blog entry is as easy as hitting "new post" and typing the first sentence. Life has been kind of eh lately. A lot of big things happened, and as much as I hate when other people are cryptic, I don't have the patience or time to neatly capture everything in word format. Basically the past three weeks can fit into one of two categories:

1. times when being home really, really sucks and I count down days until I leave.

2. times when being home means seeing lovely, beautiful people I care deeply about, and I feel guilty about feeling number one.

and the cycle repeats itself. As a result, I feel all discombobulated, like I'm myself but not. How's that for cryptic? *takes swig of Polyjuice Potion* Oh, how hilarity does not ensue. 

I'm leaving in a few hours for a week to go to New Jersey, Washington D.C., and New York. I have mixed emotions about going, but I don't want to risk sounding like a complete bitch by saying why. I appreciate the fact that I have the opportunity to go, and I'm going to try relatively hard to make the best of it. 

Today especially I felt like every person I talked to let me know how disappointed they were in me. It's not as intense as I make it seem, but more hurtful. I'm 90% sure I won't be home for Christmas, pretty sure I'll be home for Easter, and quite certain I'm not coming home next summer. I make myself think of how shitty things are a lot of the time, as to not be suckered into coming back,  but then those lovely people text me, or have late night Coney with me, and I feel myself wavering on my adamant refusal to come home. Maybe a Soma here and there like in Brave New World wouldn't be so bad. Aaaaand I think when I start wanting to take drugs that don't exist I need to close the cap on my bubbling thoughts. Good night, world.

xox,

lovefrommichigan. 

[photo caption: my room ♥]

august tenth.

Let's pretend I don't lie when saying I'll blog... MOVING RIGHT ALONG.

Quick entry on one of my favorite people in the entire world: Marisa.

Real conversation between us on the phone today:

Me: Hello?

Her: Oh, hello my love. My love? I just had to tell you something, my love. My head is going to explode. Because I love you so much my dear sister, my love. That was all, I just wanted to tell you, okay my love? Here Nikki, take the phone. What button do I press to hang up? BAHAHAHAHA you're nakedddd!

Me: *heart gets droopy*

I love her so much, who the hell gets phone calls like that? Exactly. So I bought her something to prove the feelings are reciprocated: a slurpee. Oh, the age when you are so easily made happy.

 PHOTO SHOOT TIME! *cue Zoolander music*

lovelovelove ♥

august fifth.

I swore I'd blog today, swore. Now that evening is falling upon michigan I see my promise as more of an obligation than excitement to produce an excellent blog entry. My head is pounding and everything irritates me... migraine? I'm one of those people who never gets headaches, and I know I'm lucky. I don't know where this came from, though. I got my hair cut today and bought a bathing suit, nothing to provoke drum-like thuddings in my skull. I'm going to go finish Looking for Alaska and eat watermelon on my back patio and hope this unfortunate malady remedies itself by me taking it easy tonight. Proper blog tomorrow! Unless you know, I'm dead. /overdramaticness. 

xox,

loveacrosstheocean? I'm on the other side... too triiiiiicky for me to figure out now. Suggestions?

[photo caption: marisa and I!]