may twenty-eighth.

I wonder when I'll listen to The Lonely Island and NOT laugh.

Just a thought...

Also, I'm learning to live beautifully. 

As cliche as that sounds, it's true.

The past few days have been so nice, and the best part is that I haven't gone out of my way to make it so. I've just decided I'm cutting out all the people/things that cause negativity. I don't think I'm explaining it well, but all I know is that it's working. 

I need to keep this going, seeing as exams are coming up SO SOON.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean : )

may twentieth.

I have a physiology exam in an hour and everyone's status on facebook is something NBA playoffs related. I love basketball so much, and watching games with my dad is one of the few things we have in common. I really wish I was across the ocean right now, on my green couches in Michigan watching with my dad. A little over two months... 

Calm down 
Deep breaths 
And get yourself dressed instead 
Of running around 
And pulling all your threads saying 
Breaking yourself up 

If it's a broken part, replace it 
But, if it's a broken heart then brace it 
If it's a broken heart then face it 

And hold your own 
Know your name 
And go your own way 
Hold your own 
Know your own name 
And go your own way 

And everything will be fine 
Everything will be fine 
mmmhmm.

xox, 

loveacrosstheocean.

may nineteenth. (2)

1. I unplugged my internet cable so I can actually study.

2. I tried reading biochemistry in Romanian for my exam tomorrow.

3. No.

4. I plugged my cord back in to wikipedia the metabolic process. 

5. I re-unplugged it.

6. I read for about two minutes, finding out quickly that this was a long article. 

7. Out of habit, I went to the top of my Safari toolbar and clicked on "facebook"

8. I wasn't connected, so it showed me a "you're not connected to the internet" page.

9. I  got mad that I only lasted two minutes (that's what she said!) and tried to go back.

10. I couldn't: I wasn't connected.

11. AHHHHHHHHH. 

12. I re-connect myself, get my facebook fix, and write this blog, losing the wiki page completely. FAIL.

13. commence studying for realsies.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

may nineteenth.

So I just slept fourteen hours last. Enough said.

I talked to Rachel for a good while yesterday, and she told me she's applying this fall to study abroad in Spain next spring or summer. Spain is much closer to where I am... so I'm thinking a trip is in order : ) We talked about her coming to visit Romania as well, and I like that practical plans are being made. Before when it came to traveling, I would be kind of childish and just say I wanted to go places without thinking out the financial aspect that goes along with such desires. 

Another plan I'm also really excited about is Greece for Christmas. My friend (who's coming to stay with me this summer in Michigan!) has relatives in Athens so the tentative plan is I go to her summer house sometime in July when it's cherry season, and they'll be visiting, to meet them and make them like me, then Ioana will mention us wanting to come and if all goes well they'll say yes. This of course means that I wouldn't go home for Christmas. Which is sad on most days when I think about this, but I need to understand that I can't go everywhere with my family. Traveling is all about seeing new places, interacting with new people, learning about a different culture than you're used to. I like certain things just because they're familiar and easy, but I can't grow as traveller if I insist on being predictable. I plan on going home for Easter, so I'll see my family then, plus this summer as well. Next summer there's talk about my sisters coming here!! So excited. I know most soon to be twenty year olds wouldn't be enthralled about the prospect of the significantly younger siblings coming to stay with them, but I am. I'd take them to get ice cream so many times a day, and to the park and [insert a lot of cool things to do here]! 

I'm thinking about all this fun stuff when I have an exam tomorrow and the next day. I am so overwhelmed. Which is why I slept fourteen hours! Must think positive thoughts...

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

may seventeenth.

I am so worn out right now.

I never get headaches, but when I do they make up for the months I go without them.

tonight is one of those nights. I have an anatomy exam tomorrow, and I'm feel sick just thinking about it. Probably not the best way to handle things, since exams haven't even officially started, and I'm already freaking out. GAH.

I slept till three this afternoon, so I didn't do very much. I did however go to a friend's to get my lab coat for tomorrow, and we caught up a bit. She's one of my best friends here and I thought I knew her pretty well. Like, at least the things that mattered. So you might imagine my surprise that as we were walking out of her dorm, we saw a huge poster with two male stick figures, one bent over and one behind him, with a big slash across them and in huge judgmental font "ANTI-GAY MARCH. SUPPORT NORMALCY!" I literally just stood there for about 30 seconds blinking slowly, my mouth agape. After I composed myself, I turn to my friend, only to find her grinning. 

"Isn't it funny?" she asked, inspecting the poster closer for date and time info.

"N-No," I stammered "What the hell is this? Who would ever go to this here in Bucharest??"

Her demeanor changed completely: "Wait, you support..." 

She didn't finish her sentence, as if saying the word "gay" would lose her Jesus points. I suddenly found courage "Yeah, I definitely do." I was all about continuing this conversation, but her boyfriend showed up, as if on cue. Walking with them I felt lied to. I wondered how much I knew, or better yet, didn't know about the people I go to school with, the ones that will be in every one of my classes for the next five years. The general attitude about homosexuals in Romania is a negative one, one mostly perpetuated by the elderly/uneducated. I go to school in the capital city, where kids my age think or at least consider thinking differently than what they're spoon fed to believe. I'm just completely disappointed. I really thought my friend was tolerant, if not supported gay rights. She's big on religion, I know this, but I really thought she was different. We're in med school at one of the best school in the country. We've have gay classmates. (significantly less than I had in Michigan, but still) I do plan on bringing this up with her again sometime, just because I'm actually curious as to why she thinks the way she does. I've noticed that being an ally here is not something you publicly announce/ stand for, like I was back home. 

Another thing I seriously don't get is why this march needs to happen. I mean, it just seems like such a waste of everything to protest. If you're straight and against homosexuality, why can't you leave it at that? How insecure with your beliefs do you have to be go and march against them? How are they hurting you, in any way? 

Oh! And the depiction on the poster, with the slash across it, has obviously summed up a homosexual relationship completely, as the sexual aspect is all there is. There's no emotional ties, or monogamy, just fucking.

jdskfjdfgdgshjrfkjgw. I'm frustrated and my head is pounding. I feel for you Harry Potter, I really do. 

xox, 

lovethatdoesn'tdiscriminateacrosstheocean.

may sixteenth. (2!)

oooh, two posts in one day? yes. : )

I just want to type a couple things because I remember a vlogbrothers video where Hank encourages sharing your ideas so your brain is less cluttered. Okay, now that I think about it, what I'm going to share isn't really like that at all. whatever.

a. I made chili today! From scratch, for the first time ever! It is scrumptious! 

         

b. I am IN LOVE with Danielle's cover of I Get Ideas. I wish more people read this (not really, though) so I could give it/her more exposure. She is absolutely, brilliantly talented. Look! Okay, just learned I can't actually post the video here, just a link. 

Look again!

I'm off to study.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

may sixteenth.

I just woke up from a dream where I was watching old footage of my family and I laughing and having a good time, but there was no sound. "Seaside" by The Kooks was playing, it was so clear, and I was alone on a couch crying. My heart aches. I wish I was back in Michigan, one room away from my sister's, and I could just go crawl into bed with her. Going to bed crying at 4.27 AM is so sad.

Do you want to go to the seaside?
I'm not trying to say that everybody wants to go
I fell in love at the seaside
I handled my charm with time and slight of hand

(broken)loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: Playa del Carmen, Mexico]

may fifteenth.

Today I spent a large portion of my time thinking about life.

This was initially provoked by the Grey's Anatomy finale, which led to heavy duty sobbing, and ended with one of those showers that are so hot your skin is pulsating when you dry off. 

Nothing I type can properly convey my true feelings, but I am grateful for everything I have.

I complain about school so much now that two dreadful months of exams are creeping up, but I am in love with the human body and everything related. I feel so fortunate to have the support of my family, both financial and emotional, in this endeavor. 

I'm literally right next to so many amazing countries I've always wanted to visit.

I don't know, I just want to be more appreciative through my actions.

I went on the subway to sort of collect my thoughts and people watch, then on my way home I stopped by a fruit stand and got the most delicious, fragrant strawberries I've ever had.

Life is good, despite my three exams this week.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: self explanatory <3]

may fourteenth.

We're not going to talk about my school attendance as of late. Moving on.

Yesterday I felt so antsy and blahh, having slept till four in the afternoon. I put off doing anything productive for a few more hours and watched The Office (status: season 5 episode 13!!!!!) then finally got dressed and went to buy milk. Right outside the store was a lady holding a newborn, asking for money. Kids are my soft spot, so I made a mental note to buy a loaf of bread and milk for this woman. I clumsily walk about, trying to find things I need and normally buy, and I swear nothing was going right. They were out of 1% milk, only had 3%, so I ended up getting fat free. gross. None of my favorite yogurt was in stock, the machine that tells you how much your fruit weighs and gives you a price sticker was not working , so no grapefruit. Just random things made me pissy. I pay, and as I walk out I see the woman and her kid, realizing I completely forgot to get anything for them. I pull out the bread and milk I bought for myself, and give to her. Good deed: check. Do I have what I went to the store for in the first place? Uncheck. Plus I realized I gave this malnourished woman and her growing baby FAT FREE milk. Which just made me sad. I get home, the apartment is empty. I randomly get a call from Laura, a girl from my group, asking me if I want to go to a dance in like... 30 min. I'm kind of skeptical, since I wanted something to do so badly and can't believe the opportunity presented itself. I end up going, we get there... SURPRISE! It's a costume party. Like, all out. I glare at Laura. She smiles meekly and goes "Heh, heh... You... didn't know?" I get over this rather quickly because 

a. I figure this is better than if had come dressed up and it wasn't a costume party, and

b. because Laura didn't dress up either and I think she knows I would have been all about it, and she wasn't. 

We saw a quite a few people from school, two awkward guys from our group, and a lot of skanks. I haven't been out in such a long time, like clubbing/dancing, that I forgot how slutty girls here dress/act. I guess it's not a far cry from your average kegger at any major Michigan college. The music was terrible. 50's dance tunes are awesome when used sparingly, but playing nothing but the Grease soundtrack and The Beach Boys = not cool. I drank, pretended to like the music, still sort of resented the fact I wasn't in costume. Got home around four AM, passed out. The stench of cigarettes and sweat is embedded in my skin and I should probably shower...

xox,

(dirty)loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: Laura and I, not in costume. merr.]

may twelfth.

in three months from today I'll be twenty! wheeeeeee : )

I'm currently taking a break from wine drinking and gossiping with my housemate to type this while she's in the shower.

Today was stupendous. I went to pay my tax for school and forgot I had applied for a discount because my parents were born here or something, and I was approved. This means that instead of my three month tuition costing 1,080 USD it now costs 192 USD. SCORE. 

I found out I have three exams next week (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday) Upon hearing this, two girls from my group made immediate plans to go home, another six grumbled louder than everyone, and about half (six) of us decided we're going out Friday and getting sloppy. I haven't gone out in such a long time, it should be good as long as I act like a lady and stay in control of the drinking part. yesh.

I stayed up till FIVE AM to watch Jim and Pam get engaged... I was a little let down. I mean, I was expecting him to do it in a completely not cliche way and have it be random, but between the "creative" filming from across a highway and my window being open, I didn't actually... hear much. I just watched the episode where Jan brings her sperm donor baby in and Angela puts vegetables on it and tries taking pictures. 

Between that, learning I have an extra $900 this semester, good things in general, I'm pretty happy : )

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: maybe if my housemate didn't fall off the bed and we took more than one picture, she'd be in it.]

may eleventh.

a. I wish I had my Harry Potter books with me here.

b. I'm all caught up on Weeds! So. effing. good.

c. "I realize that there is all this doubting

That we're both scared about but
Well never see them coming
Throw caution to the wind and
Well see which way it's blowing
And to this pulling on
We'll never see it coming
Until it's much to close to stop

My heart beat, beats me senselessly
Why's everything got to be so intense with me
I'm trying to handle all this unpredictability"

I know what you mean, Kelly. I know what you mean.

d. I recently looked more into Tumblr, and it's actually pretty cool. Upon deciding this, I also decided I wanted one, but I don't think that's going to happen. I realize I'm all about new internet trends and jumping on band wagons. As soon as I find something better than what I have, I abandon it. I really want to commit to something for longer than a few months. Like, this is my umteenth blog, previous ones deleted because new sites were cooler than the one I was using. Ugh. I'm doing really well with my dailybooth project and I kind of suck at blogging every day, but I make some sort of effort. I'm much too good at going on facebook [rawr] but moral of this paragraph = no matter that tumblr looks vair cool and easy to use, NO. I am staying here and... yes. STAYING HERE.

e. I need to stop skipping my Monday classes.

f. My housemate bought me 50 bags of these delicious things called "pufuleti" FIFTY BAGS. ahhhh. The best way I can think to explain them is like all natural corn puffs. Kind of like how Cheetos look when they're the puff version, but just yellow and not toxically colored. Anyway, I am enamored with them and I cannot believe she bought me FIFTY bags. It's kind of a big deal...

g. G for Gina! I miss her. 

h. I'm on the last episode of season 4 of The Office. I cheated (again) and I found out that Jim and Pam get engaged in the first episode of season 5! If that isn't motivation to not study physiology and stay up at 3.40 AM when you have class in the morning, I do NOT know what is.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: FIFTY BAGS OF JOY!]

may seventh.

I've been crazy these past two days. I'm PMS-ing like I never have before, and deal with the weirdest cravings while feeling grossly bloated... mmm. Aren't you glad I'm sharing this? As if that's not bad enough, I cry over the smallest things... I was at the supermarket yesterday, and while in line I saw this little girl, about Marisa's age with chubby little hands. I was smiling at her in that way that might look creepy but is genuinely innocent, as I was just reminiscing and realizing that Marisa's hands weren't all that chubby when I was home last. She's growing up. Without me there. It just hurts. bleghhhhh

Tonight I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding with the two housemates I love. I can watch that movie over and over and still laugh every single time. Oh wait, I do.

This weekend I'm going to my grandparents' house about four hours away, by train. I hate trains. I hate long trips. I'm going mostly for the food but also partly because I have an anatomy exam Monday (the once I was supposed to have today got moved) and I have to study for realsies. If I stay here, I know I'll go out. 

I'm on season 4 of The Office; Jim and Pam are dating! Wheeeeeee.

I'm also on season 4 of Weeds, almost all caught up, and I have to admit I have a major girl crush on Mary-Louise Parker, who plays Nancy Botwin. mmmyeah.

I bought a hammer today, I'm pretty proud. I feel it's a good investment. 

I tried making sauce for my pasta, from scratch. I also realized (too late) that I don't actually know how. So it ended up kind of... not good.

I put some cheese on there and it looked good, but didn't taste the part. I feel like that's what happens a lot on cooking shows: the food looks really good, but in reality who the eff makes roasted lamb with mint jelly and savory baby red potatoes? Shut it Giada de Laurentiis. Just because you wear hella slutty tops doesn't mean I actually bealieve you eat what you make. 

I need to stop hating people because they're thin. sigh.

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: the pasta I was talking about before I had word vomit about the cook that shall not be named.]

may fourth.

I have mixed feelings about today.

I kind of failed and didn't go to either my gross anatomy lab or lecture, and I definitely didn't get through cleaning my entire room.

The ratio of how many hours I spent cleaning and how it looks after is completely unproportionate. 

I did, however, go to the best pub/restaurant for a friend's birthday and consumed beer and good food. 

I have an anatomy exam on Thursday: NO.

I also have six more episodes of The Office that have downloaded.

I cheated and googled to find out when Jim and Pam get together: I have nine more episodes to go till then.

We found out that my grandparents are okay and have settled in upon landing in Romania friday. I guess they spent a few extra days at relatives houses, NOT in quarantine at the embassy because we got back from Mexico not too long ago, like my mom thought. Silly parents, I really thought you would be immune to this swine flu hysteria. (pun intended)

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[photo caption: demoralized and decided to go with joe's plan of action; the trusty "throw everything off the bed and on the ground" technique.]

may third.

I have so much to write about this weekend, but it must wait until... later.

I was going to say "until I have time" LOL.

THINGS I WANT TO DO/AM DOING:

-read "second comings"

-listen to lily allen

-watch the office

-watch weeds

-shower 

-sleep

THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO DO/THINGS I AM FORCED TO DEAL WITH:

-my unintelligent housemate drilling random holes in the fucking wall, causing all my outlets (IN MY ROOM ONLY) to malfunction. And by "malfunction" I mean not work at all. 

-school

-impending exams

-actually, anything having to do with school at all.

ughhhh. I just don't want to deal with random shit right now/ever. I sincerely hope she moves out soon.

xox,

(angry)loveacrosstheocean.