june sixteenth.

Dear Old Woman on the Subway This Morning at 5.43AM,

I pity you. I wish to never end up stereotypically wenchy as you when I am old. Did you sleep last night? Not well you say? I'm sorry. I know, my grandparents wake up pretty early too. Is that why you were on the subway as the world above was just beginning to come alive, the decidedly deep blue sky signaling the start of a new day? You didn't notice the color of the sky you say? Hm. That's too bad, it was cute. Maybe one needs to pull an all nighter and see only physiology related topics float in front of them in order to appreciate said color. Maybe not. Old Woman, I'm not always nice. I regress into a toddler when sleep deprived, and since I am expected to uphold some semblance of SRS med student, I try my best to disguise this. So sometimes, I opt to sit when there's a seat available. I know we can at least relate on this. How do I know? Easy! The vile looks you kept shooting me as I remained rooted to my spot bore in my dry contact eyes. Would I normally get up and let a much older frail woman have my seat? Heck yes. But this morning? No, my dear Woman. I had not slept in 36 hours, I had three upcoming exams that day, and the prospect of having to function above average for the next 12 hours made me inwardly recoil. So yes, I stayed in my seat and did not relinquish said cold plastic chair until my stop arrived. Did you stop to think for a second I might be having a bad day? Bad week? No? I was. You were quick to write me off as a new generation youngster with no respect for their elders, iPod headphones and thumping music (that was keeping me awake) giving me away. Your loss. 

Yolie told me a story a while ago that I still think about from time to time, I'd like to immortalize it via blog entry. She remembers her grandma looking out the window when Yolie was younger, and asking her if she ever thought time went by really fast. Yolie, being about seven and having problems that were easily fixed with band aids and popsicles replied a cheery "Nope." Her grandma smiled wisely, albeit a bit sadly. Yolie pressed on, giving reason for her monosyllabic answer. "No, it's like when time goes by really slowly and you want to go to a friend's house, but time is TOO SLOW." Her grandma decided to drop the subject, this was after all, a young child. She couldn't be expected to understand. 

Yolie couldn't relate to her grandma's view point, this I thought about immediately as she was telling the story. But neither could her grandma. She thought she had all these decades of experience, time eerily seeming to go by faster, but could she relate to Yolie's example? Could she conscientiously acknowledge the time in her life when she was seven and antsy? No. I don't think so.  You grow older and wiser, or that's what you want to believe. Age is just a number, you need to act the way you want to be treated. Being old should not automatically be reason to have people pity you, give up their seat. I'm willing to bet this woman can't relate to my sleep deprived student state. But maybe she was where I am once upon a time. It's up to us to remember things aren't always black or white. 

I'm watching the same colored sky appear before my eyes as I cram for my cellular biology exam today. I hope I can remember it when I'm old and this situation comes full circle. 

Lastly, I am addicted to this site. I am realizing how sheltered my musical tastes are, I've gotten a different flavor and I'm addicted. I would literally spend hours searching for new music if I had no other responsibilities. SO GOOD.

Sincerely,

loveacrosstheocean.