june fourteenth.

I am not ready for this week to begin. I start thinking too much for my own good, and it ends up being so counterproductive that I get even less done than before. For example, today after my alarm relentlessly rang every minute after I hit snooze (note to self: CHANGE THE FREAKING SETTING ALREADY!) I kind of laid there, in a pissed off/contemplative mood. I started thinking about how soon my anatomy exams are coming up, about how fast this year has gone by, about how slow time crawls when you really want something, but in reality it moves at the same pace, always. A minute is a minute whether you're waiting for a loved to come through doors at the airport or dreadingly anticipating outside the door of your anatomy lab to take a three hour oral exam. In the first case, you cannot wait. A minute seems too long, time is being lazy. In the latter, you make all sorts of deals with a god you're not sure exists, making promises you're sure you won't keep, if only this terrible event stays father away than it is. Time makes no such concessions, though. It is cold, impartial, to your petty needs. Yeah, life is weird.

My housemate's boyfriend came home from Jerusalem tonight. He's doing his master's degree in theology over there, and is gone for most of the year. He's finished exams and since this apartment is his, technically (his dad died this winter) he gets a free place to stay. This is no biggie, as I have my own room and I do what I please... BUT. As I went to pee, I found the shower curtain not pulled back to how it was after a shower, the toilet seat up, the bottle of soap on the wrong side of the sink and water pooled all around the sink. NO. It took so long to be on the same page as my housemates about cleaning, as I didn't want to come off as bitchy in the beginning. By now we kind of all know what pisses everyone off, and no matter how dumb said thing is, we do it out of mutual respect. Cut to tonight: me pulling the shower curtain back, so it can dry off and not get moldy, toilet seat down, (and a touch of Lysol for good measure) and wiping the sink so the accumulated water doesn't sit there for weeks and grow nastiness. I'm not about to tell him how to live in his apartment, but I pay rent, and in common areas we all use, I think it's just polite to respect others' wishes, no matter how insignificant they seem to you. (/rant)

My mom called me today, like she always does. Lately we haven't been getting along, and I'm going to go ahead and say it's her fault. No, this isn't meant to be some angsty teen blog, but our relationship has been forced to change since I moved across the ocean. I was so dependent on her at first. I called every day, usually in tears, looking for sympathy and support, which I often received. Now I'm actually having a good time, and daily phone calls are no longer needed. I feel so guilty when I'm out with people and my cell phone rings and it's her, as she pays ten cents a minute to call me on there, and that's only after I haven't answered at home. I usually don't answer my cell either. I know how bitchy this sounds, truly. She does so much for me, and I truly, truly appreciate that. But for the past three weeks all she calls me about is to tell me how I can't fuck up, that I need to take precautions so I pass all my exams. By precautions she means lining up bribes with connections I don't have so that I pass. I may do things that are questionable, but seriously?? Paying off my exams? I'm really not even going to waste letters typing about why that is a terrible idea. So her idea of encouraging me is telling me to have these ludicrous plan B's and then saying "fine. fine. if you think that's a good idea then fine." in a progressively higher pitched voice. I need to find common ground with her. If we're not getting along when we're on different continents I have slight hope for when I go home. Of course, common ground can also come in the form of me actually passing all my exams, which would leave no room for debate. Sigh. 

I shall leave... you... guys...? Hmm. I shall end with a link to a fantastic video involving a nerdfighter whose song reminds me of Kimya Dawson, Paper Towns, and a lot of awesome.

OH! I almost forgot. I gave up facebook today, as it is not condusive to studying. It's super hard, I just want my password back so I can get my hit of facebook crack. It ruins lives, I tell you! Ruins livesssss : (

xox,

loveacrosstheocean.

[VIDEO caption: (hey oh! getting fancy) Nicole and Marisa doing their grandpa voices in an airport in Mexico, plus my obnoxious laughter.]